Trashed and eating it
Kind Mr. Frankus Spiziri of Long Beach, CA asks: "Ninny. How is it that a certain homo gets totally trashed at a bar, totally eats it, and never tells anyone?"
Well, Mr. Spiziri, that's a tough question to answer. You see, trashed, in the context you are using it, implies inebriation. The homo you refer to, was most certainly quite intoxicated. This ofcourse impairs motor skills leading to one toppling over like a top heavy crack whore dolly. Also, you mention that said homo was in a bar. Often times this sort of establishment is quite crowded. Navigating a drinking establishment can require a certain amount of finesse, if the homo in question was indeed inebriated, then it's possible that the requisite finesse to navigate said bar was not present for the poor fool. Finally, and here's the clincher, how did this homo neglect to inform others of their act of clumsy tom-foolery? Well, you see in certain areas of globe there is a rare and quite odd phenomena known as "STHUYFCR". This is a convoluted acronym that stands for "Shut The Hell Up You Fucking Cunt Rag." This phenomena most often occurs when a person or persons have made a mistake and wish others not to know of it. Though this may seem a plausible cause of your homos secrecy, I think it's much too simple a solution. No, in this case, I believe you have an instance of an even more rare and baffling phenomena. Experts refer to this phenomena as "UMEAD," or "Unidentified Memory Extraction And Disposal." This is when the party in question has actually had a memory removed from their conscience, doused in acetone, and ignited by a flaming Boll Weevil. The consequence of this act is that the homo in question does not actually remember that the accident occurred and thusly, cannot relate the story to others. An odd side effect of this phenomena is that when questioned by a witness of said lost memory, the victim often can retrieve the ashes of the burnt recolection and then share it with other persons.
It is my suspicion Mr. Frankus that the Homo to which you refer is an actual case of UMEAD and perhaps you should check your chonies for a flaming Boll Weevil.
Well, Mr. Spiziri, that's a tough question to answer. You see, trashed, in the context you are using it, implies inebriation. The homo you refer to, was most certainly quite intoxicated. This ofcourse impairs motor skills leading to one toppling over like a top heavy crack whore dolly. Also, you mention that said homo was in a bar. Often times this sort of establishment is quite crowded. Navigating a drinking establishment can require a certain amount of finesse, if the homo in question was indeed inebriated, then it's possible that the requisite finesse to navigate said bar was not present for the poor fool. Finally, and here's the clincher, how did this homo neglect to inform others of their act of clumsy tom-foolery? Well, you see in certain areas of globe there is a rare and quite odd phenomena known as "STHUYFCR". This is a convoluted acronym that stands for "Shut The Hell Up You Fucking Cunt Rag." This phenomena most often occurs when a person or persons have made a mistake and wish others not to know of it. Though this may seem a plausible cause of your homos secrecy, I think it's much too simple a solution. No, in this case, I believe you have an instance of an even more rare and baffling phenomena. Experts refer to this phenomena as "UMEAD," or "Unidentified Memory Extraction And Disposal." This is when the party in question has actually had a memory removed from their conscience, doused in acetone, and ignited by a flaming Boll Weevil. The consequence of this act is that the homo in question does not actually remember that the accident occurred and thusly, cannot relate the story to others. An odd side effect of this phenomena is that when questioned by a witness of said lost memory, the victim often can retrieve the ashes of the burnt recolection and then share it with other persons.
It is my suspicion Mr. Frankus that the Homo to which you refer is an actual case of UMEAD and perhaps you should check your chonies for a flaming Boll Weevil.
posted by Ninny at 12:37 AM
2 Question for Ninny?:
What should I do to earn a living?
I must hear more about this one...
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